Eight-Hundred-Pound Gorillas #4, 5 & 6

Here are more of those pesky apes who won't go away: mini-King Kongs, who -- despite their smaller size -- are just as obvious as the Big Guy on the Empire State Building...

There are gay Christians, too. The lie-mongers who say otherwise are such cowardly little creeps that the Jesus about whom they're always babbling would turn away in disgust at the very stink of 'em. I can't wait for Him to come back so He can knock their heads together and take some names. I'm too mean for you? AWWWWW. He would call them the "brood of vipers" they really are and be done with it.

More often than not, they do not actually come right out and SAY there are no gay Christians -- they just IMPLY it. That's the lazy, cowardly way to do it, and they are lazy, cowardly people. They can't win a debate with any reasonably-intelligent gay Christian, so they have to pretend we don't exist. They cannot admit us in their neat and tidy little Romper Room world. They don't want to deal with us because they CAN'T deal with us.

Now, if they said they know we exist, but that we are not "good" Christians, or "real" Christians, or whatever, that would still be stupid but at least it would be more honest. They could even say "there are these crazy, evil gay people who THINK they're Christians" or "who CLAIM they're Christians...as they actually plot to overthrow the government, make dogs meow and cats bark and totally destroy the world." That, too, would be cretinously, shit-eatingly stupid -- but at least it's more honest than the little kiddie's game they so often play. They close their eyes and then chant, "We can't see 'em, so they're not there!"

THAT. IS. NOT. HONEST. It simply isn't. It is a LIE. It is a lie they are more prone to tell by omission rather than comission, but the fact that so many of them are too chickenshit to actually come right out and SAY we don't exist does not change the truth that God made us, too.

You wanna showdown with a REAL gay Christian? Just bring it! As John Wayne once put it, "Fill your hands!" And oh, I know my speech is plain and blunt. Jesus never said a word about salty language -- but lying and hypocrisy of your sort, He unequivocably condemned.

These people have made war against the most basic human rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered citizens. I will certainly exercise the tough love of telling them the truth about what they are doing -- hopefully before they reach the Judgment Day they keep prattling about and find themselves on the same side of The Throne to which they would assign us. And I truly am trying to warn them, in no-punches-pulled, Christian-sisterly concern. (Let's see if they're even a fraction as good at taking that sort of thing as they are at dishing it out.) What I will NOT do is shut up, go conveniently away or ever, EVER stop fighting.

Hetero homophobe, phoney-baloney Christians pick on gays because they've somehow gotten the notion that we won't stand up and fight back. There's nothing I love better than showing them how very wrong they are.

People who ridicule womens' sports only make themselves look like damn fools.
Usually, those who do this are men. Though sometimes, it's a woman (usually a very ugly straight chick who couldn't get laid to save her life) who clings desperately to the pathetic hope that, if she can only be ugly enough to other women, she'll be able to get a man to pay attention to her for more than ten seconds. She's almost certainly making a donkey's twat of herself in vain, because I have never seen it work.

It's much more common, again, for a man to do this. And SUCH a man! Invariably, the sort of "man" who feels compelled to prove his masculinity by dissing Mia Hamm, the LPGA and the WNBA is simply attempting to overcompensate for his own, pathetic inadequacies. Little Suzie beat him out for shortstop back in tee-ball, and he still can't get over the pain.

These guys are such losers, they don't realize they aren't proving they're heterosexual (though if you've ever seen one of 'em, you know in an instant there isn't a woman -- OR a man -- on the whole planet who'd care). All they're proving is that they NEED TO PROVE they are heterosexual, and that is a horse of an altogether different color.

The most amusing aspect of the Phony Masculine Protest Against Women's Sports is that the sort of asshat who indulges in this hardly ever even knows anything about sports. Almost without exception, the men who rail against the WNBA, for example, know next to nothing about basketball -- and I mean the game, period, whether played by women OR men. They are almost never even former athletes -- far from even being has-beens, they're wannabees who never were, and they are so disappointed they didn't emerge from the womb knowing all about every sport that they've never bothered to ask enough questions to learn anything. Our fathers' generation prided themselves on being students of their favorite game. This generation of guys thinks that the Y chromosome somehow mystically transmits all sports knowledge -- though if that's so, then somehow it skipped them.

I never waste my time getting mad at a dipshit like this. The most appropriate response, when confronted by one, is to simply point and laugh. As getting laughed-at makes them want to run home crying to mommy, it doesn't take very long for them to crawl back into the woodwork from which they came.

Which brings me to a very closely-related Gorilla...

If somebody hates womens' sports, NOBODY is making 'em watch. You would think, judging from the outrage of many of the losers who like to cry in their beer on sports talk-radio, that somebody was holding them at gunpoint, force-marching them into an arena, tying them into a seat, duct-taping their eyelids open and FORCING them to watch women play sports. The fact that (A) they NEVER have to watch anything they don't want to, and that (B) nobody actually gives a shit what they watch never seems to occur to them.

Let me clue you into what is really going on here. They are trying to bully and shame other people out of enjoying womens' sports -- not simply because they themselves don't enjoy it, but because they are afraid somebody else might. This is especially true of many of the self-appointed experts who work in the sports media. Again, they are almost always wannabees who never were, and they CAN'T STAND that there are women getting paid for playing sports -- with big arenas full of people paying to see them play, and Olympic medals, and Nike shoe contracts, and all the rest of it. Oh, it's just killing 'em!

Here's where some former tee-ball washout will holler that the mens' arenas are generally full of more people than are the womens'. It may take a couple of generations to change that, or it may never change, but who the hell cares? It does not diminish the enjoyment of the people who DO pay to see womens' sports because the losers, the sour-grapers and the dads too selfish to take their daughters to the game aren't there. And I'll tell you another dirty little secret they don't want you to hear: a growing number of the fans of womens' sports are heterosexual men -- many of whom actually care enough about their daughters to be HAPPY that they, too, can now dream of growing up to play pro sports.

An awful lot of former (male) athletes are excited about the explosive growth of womens' sports. That's probably because they got their own chance at the brass ring, so they don't begrudge it to anybody else. Not even to Little Suzie.