Friday, February 17, 2006

More Miscellaneous Lunacies

Oh, it doesn't get any more entertaining than this. Out on my errands today, I spotted a big, green sign beside the entryway to my nearest branch of the public library. On that sign was a friendly and helpful wordless message -- one of those stick figures, reading a book.

A picture. Of a gender-nonspecific, politically-correct stick figure. Reading a book. To indicate the proximity of a library.

I have a question, if anybody wants to bother answering it. If you can't even read a damn sign with words on it, why the hell would you care about finding a library?

I'm sure this is the way the moonbats at some level of our friendly and helpful government have chosen to show their compassion toward the illiterate. If they weren't putting up warm and caring signs like these, they might have to ACTUALLY HELP PEOPLE LEARN TO READ.

On a totally unrelated note, the blogosphere is full of photographs of the angry young dickheads in the Middle East who continue their temper-tantrum against those Danish cartoons. You remember those cartoons -- the ones nobody outside Denmark would ever have seen, had not these losers in the game of life chosen to throw a hissy about them. Of course, the latest targets of their wrath (at least in a symbolic sense) are Colonel Sanders and Ronald McDonald.

This whole uproar is a testament to human stupidity. All those turbaned Drama Queens are doing is (A) proving that the Danish cartoonists were right and (B) making Americans laugh at them.

Flash bulletin to Islamofascist losers: YOU ARE MAKING TOTAL FOOLS OF YOURSELVES.
You probably aren't doing "The Prophet" any good, either.

The only spectacle more entertaining than watching overgrown toddlers beat up on Ronald McDonald is the bitter disappointment of the Democrats because Dick Cheney's buckshot buddy is going to live.

And on yet another note, I suppose you might consider these teeny-bopper, Snickers-bar-commercial Olympics entertaining, but only if you're too young to miss the class and professionalism of the old days. ABC and Jim McKay run circles around these numbskulls, even on archival videotape. I'll take the U.S. hockey team beating the Russians, even if I have seen it fifty times. You can keep snowboarding on the half-pipe, whatever in tarnation that is.

I missed most of the Euro-insanity of the opening ceremonies. Caught a couple little snippets of it, watched each time as long as I could, and had to change the channel. What the hell WAS that? I couldn't help but think of those old Mike Meyers skits on Saturday Night Live, where he played Dieter. "Touch my monkey...please!"

Now izt de time on Sprockets ven ve dance...

One thing we can say about living in the post-9-11 era. The news is now more delightfully, wickedly entertaining than any sitcom or "reality" show ever made. And heck, we can even amuse ourselves reading the signs along the street.


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